“Investing in Life-Giving Relationships”
 Dear writer,
I hope you enjoyed our series on marketing! This month, we are going to take a look at the engine that drives most writing endeavors: relationship. You see, writer, most everyone writes because someone somewhere inspired or encouraged them to do so. In other words, they started writing because of a relationship. And if our writing began with relationships, we would be remiss to think we can finish our work alone. But isn’t that the temptation of so many of us?
Growing in community is one of the most overlooked keys to writing success. After all, we don’t know what we don’t know, and the perspective of others often provides the pieces we’re missing. When we grow in community, we glean wisdom from others and are strengthened by their friendship.
To begin our journey into growing community, we’re going to look specifically at accountability partners. Sometimes our journey toward publication is best when we purposefully share it with another. But before we dive in, let’s take a look at some others who chose to share their road and lend one another their strength.
 Accountability in History
 Theodore Roosevelt and Owen Wister are an excellent example of accountability partners. Roosevelt and Wister met as students at Harvard, and it was Roosevelt who first encouraged Wister to write stories about the cowboy life Wister experienced as recovered his health living on a ranch in Wyoming. Wister took Roosevelt’s advice and, with Roosevelt’s ongoing input, published his first stories in Harper’s Weekly which eventually led to the publication of his famous book, The Virginian. Their ongoing relationship led to the genesis of the unique genre of American western novels that still inspire readers and filmmakers today.
Accountability in the Bible
Ruth and Naomi are another great example of a pair who shared a road and lent one another their strength. After the death of their husbands, Ruth—having fallen in love with her mother-in-law’s faith—insisted they journey back to Israel together. When they arrived, Ruth proactively provided for their livelihood and found herself in Boaz’s field. Heeding Naomi’s wise advice, Ruth boldly expressed her desire to marry to Boaz, who in response eagerly sought to become their kinsman redeemer and married Ruth. The partnership of Ruth and Naomi not only restored Naomi from poverty and disgrace but brought Ruth into the royal lineage that God used to birth His Son.
Here’s the thing, writer. When we begin to partner and share our road with others—lending our strength and drawing their wisdom as well—it positions us to birth new things in the earth.
Accountability in Life
I experienced the greatest level of accountability and partnership in my life as I wrote and published my first books: the Paradoxon series. As I wrote, my husband, Jared, shared my path, encouraging me all the way. When my book reached the editing stage and I took a wrong turn, it was Jared’s advice that helped me understand my editor’s notes and kept me from misapplying my editor’s good advice and losing the uniqueness of my story. And here’s the interesting thing…
The journey that we walked through then wasn’t an easy one. I almost refused to let Jared speak into my life for fear that he would unduly influence my creative process. But bringing Jared into the process, not only helped me publish a book others wanted to read, it set me on the path that led to the creation of the Experience Writing Conference which now helps other new writers to publish their God-given stories.
Accountability in Your Life
You see, here’s the thing, writer. We all have blind spots. Things we didn’t know or understand or haven’t experienced yet. And like any uncharted journey, our writing journey can threaten to swallow us up if we don’t have an outside perspective and a fresh set of strength to help us along the path. Here’s the proof…
- Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. – Ecclesiastes 3:9-12
- As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. – Proverbs 27:17
- Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. – Proverbs 27:9
- Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? – Amos 3:3
You see, writer, we need someone who can cheer us on when we are weak and challenge us if we go wrong. But here’s the thing. Those relationships don’t develop by accident. While all friendships all begin at a surface level, it is through the investment of time and heart into one another that develops that rich, life-giving dynamic.
Ruth walked with Naomi because of the deep love for her mother-in-law, and Jared, because of his deep love for me. But here’s the thing. Ruth and Naomi’s relationship began—not when Naomi decided to leave for Israel—but when Ruth married Naomi’s son. My relationship with Jared began when I met him at college, and it was the deep core of shared values that drew us—and the resulting commitment to one another that moved us past obstacles and relational hiccups—into that place of accountability and life-giving sharing. And here is the beautiful thing…
When these relationships begin, often we don’t recognize their significance. But as we practice caring for and honoring the relationships God gives us, we open the opportunity for Him to grow them into something beautiful.
Where to Start with Accountability
If this all feels a bit overwhelming, never fear! God has designed us for deep relationship with Him and with others, and growing that kind of relationship is ultimately about intentionally seeking Him and responding to His work. It’s about learning to ask Him for, recognize, and steward well those relationships He gives us.
So if you are ready to begin growing in accountability and life-giving relationships, here are a few keys to getting started…
- PRAY. While it’s definitely possible to have casual or simply professional level of accountability that is of benefit, the best and most beautiful life-giving relationships come from God. Ask Him to highlight those people you are to do life with in this season. Because here’s the thing. Some of our best growth comes from sharing life with another as you both press toward your God-given goals. If don’t know where to begin, don’t worry! All relationships start as seeds that we grow. Many beautiful partnerships only last for a season. The key is to allow the Lord to direct and to form the core of those relationships.
- Know Your Values. It is agreement that enables us to walk together. Being in agreement doesn’t mean never disagreeing. What it does mean is that both people share and believe in a strong set of core values and in one another. As you begin to steward your current relationships, examine your core values and theirs. Do your deepest values align with His word and with each other?
- Know Your Commitment. Whether it’s for a lifetime or for a season, accountability only works when there is a true commitment to walk with one another—even when it’s challenging. Whether for specific project, over a specific period of time, or longer, it’s walking with people through difficulties and trials that develops some of the richest connections.
- Know Your Investment. We can have accountability partners at any level, but the relationships that become rich wells are ones where we are truly invested in the well-being of our friend and truly take time to understand them and the path the Lord has them on. As here is the beautiful thing. Even if a particular relationship doesn’t work out like you hoped, whenever we truly invest in another, we are bound to learn and grow from the experience.
And you see, writer, that’s what walking in accountability is all about. It is learning to skillfully help bear the load of another, while inviting them to speak into your life. It can be a very intimate place and one we are careful about inviting others into. But it is worth taking the time to pray for and search those relationships out. Because here’s the wonderful thing…
As we seek the Lord to develop relationships that bring life to others, keep us growing in wisdom, and keep us aligned with Him, those relationships have the potential to spark new movements in the earth. Just like Roosevelt’s input helped Wister define a whole new genre of a literature. Just like Ruth’s journey with Naomi led her to become part of lineage of one of Israel’s greatest kings and eventually the King of Kings. Just like my willingness to open myself up to Jared grew my book and ultimately led to the Experience Writing Conference.
When you begin to truly walk with others, pouring into and learning from them, you will see the Lord begin to birth new things in and through you, too. Because here’s the final thought. No one was made to create alone. Even in Eden, God said it was not good for man to be alone, and He made Eve to co-labor with Adam.
So, I encourage you today to ask the Lord where you might take your first step toward community. Ask Him who He is bringing into your life in this season. Whether large or small, there is unexpected blessing that is found in bringing the best of ourselves to another and allowing their best to shape us as well.
#partnership #accountability #growth #strength #wisdom #journey #EveryWriterWriting
