Dear Writer, I hope you had a beautiful week and considered where God may be leading you to course correct in your journey! This week, we’ll explore one of the largest obstacles to partnering with God’s grace. That obstacle is an orphan mentality.
You see, writer, once we distinguish between God’s correction and the enemy’s attack, we’ll discover moments of difficulty that don’t seem to come from either. This is because there are three sources for all we encounter in life. God, the enemy, or ourselves. And here’s the thing…
We all have moments where our own insecurities, doubts, and false humility spring up to paralyze our forward progress. These mentalities forget God Himself called us and equips us. Learning to recognize and address these renegade ideas enables us lean into God’s grace to move forward again.
But before we dive in, let’s look at some others whose ability to overcome orphaned thinking had a direct impact on their life and legacy….
Orphan Mentality in History
Abraham Lincoln is a surprising example of a man who struggled with an orphaned mentality. From a young age, Lincoln suffered frequent fits of melancholy. These episodes were often triggered by little or nothing. Lincoln himself admitted to a friend early on that, “…our forebodings, for which you and I are rather peculiar, are all the worst sort of nonsense.”
This realization enabled Lincoln to rally when melancholy threatened by investing himself wholeheartedly in work or by choosing to recount funny stories and jokes that lightened his mood. As a result, Lincoln gained a remarkable reputation for emotional steadiness. A quality that equipped him to navigate the nation through the tumultuous Civil War.
You see, writer, when discouraged, our feelings can try to take a larger place than they deserve. The truth is, even in life’s disappointments, God is at work on your behalf. When we learn to recognize the outrageous nature of the pessimism that often tries to arrest us, we can begin to purposefully place those emotions into perspective, just as Lincoln did.
Orphan Mentality in the Bible
King Saul is a sadder example of an orphan mentality. Though chosen as Israel’s first king, Saul constantly struggled with insecurity. His fears drove him to seek the approval of his men rather than God. Though God gave Saul several opportunities to change, Saul’s fears drove him to compromise, blame, and beg rather than embracing simple repentance. And here’s the thing…
An orphaned mentality is steeped in abandonment and fear. At heart, an orphaned mindset assumes love must be earned and is, therefore, always at risk of loss. Overcoming those insecurities is critical to thrive in God’s plans for you. And the first step to overcome orphaned thinking is to be rooted in God’s unchanging love.
Orphan Mentality in Life
I struggled with an orphaned mentality as a fifteen year old, when girls in my youth group spread lies about me through our church. I couldn’t understand, at that time, what I’d done to spark their hatred. I assumed I simply wasn’t a good friend. When we moved to a new church, the new youth were amazing. The girls actually threw me a surprise sleepover for my graduation. But here’s the thing…
For years, I never noticed I was the only one who got a surprise party. And I always wondered what possessed them to throw me one. It never occurred to me these new girls actually liked me…because I’d already assumed I was unlikable.
It wasn’t until a decade later when my husband convinced me to re-engage in church life that God began to heal my heart and the wrong conceptions I’d built. But once He did, the pain and healing process equipped me to understand and reach a broad spectrum of people I never had before. And here’s the thing…
Orphan Mentality in Your Life
An orphan mentality assumes we are alone in our struggles. This assumption is often based on negative experiences we’ve had throughout life. These negative experiences make space for lies about who we are and what we can do to take root in our hearts. But here’s the thing…
Disaster strikes everyone at one point or another, but it’s not the events themselves that define us. It’s how we respond to them. When we lean into God, the very thing the enemy intended to use to silence us can catapult us into His purposes. Let me prove it to you…
- For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. – Romans 8:15-17
- His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. – 2 Peter 1:3-10
- Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoiced in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. – Romans 5:1-5
- No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:37-39
You see, writer, overcoming an orphan mentality is about experiencing God’s love so deeply that nothing we encounter in life can ever disprove that love again. That kind of love gives us something stronger than our fears and equips us for the slow, steady work of retraining our minds with the truth. It strengthens us to begin answering the voices of inadequacy with the promises of God. And as that truth takes hold in our hearts, it creates a confidence that is unstoppable.
Where to Start with an Orphan Mentality
So are you ready to consider where an orphan mentality may still be holding you back? Here are some things to keep in mind…
- Recognize the Lie. Begin to notice when you draw back from what you know God has for you. Where do you tend to not obey Him? Where do you tend not to receive His gifts? Where are your thoughts and attitudes unkind toward yourself, your accomplishments, and abilities? Ask God to help you notice those areas. Often, we can undermine ourselves without ever realizing it, so recognition is an important first step!
- Find the Why. Once you begin to recognize the lies, prayerfully ask God to reveal when that lie first entered your life. Often lies are tied to childhood hurts and disappointments. Don’t be surprised if an event that seems trivial comes to mind. As children, we often ascribe big meanings to small interactions, so that the impact is felt long after the exchange took place.
- Ask for Healing. Once you’ve remembered the event that sparked the lie, it can often be helpful to prayerfully return to that place in your mind. (If it wasn’t too traumatic, that is.) Once you’ve pictured yourself there again, I’ve found it helpful to ask God to speak His truth into that space. Journal anything He shows you in that moment and any words and scriptures He brings to mind. The act of asking Him to enter into our past with us can open our eyes to see how He was at work.
- Embrace the Truth. Prayerfully search out scriptures that speak to the lie you’ve believed. Write out these truths and memorize them, pray them, speak them, and meditate on them daily. Ask God to help you recognize moments when you begin to act from the old lie, and when those moments come, speak His truth out loud to yourself instead. Because here’s the thing…
Learning to overcome an orphan mentality is really about being transformed by the renewing of our minds a s we actively embrace God’s truth. Because here’s the real deal…
Our mindset will not change by itself. It takes intentional choices to rewire old mental patterns. It takes encounters with God’s love to heal old wounds. If there’s a deep wound beneath a particular lie you’ve believed, seek mature and Godly believers who can help minister truth to you. God’s ER is a wonderful resource for this that I’ve used myself many times. Their ministers are completely confidential and equip you to take hold of God’s grace in a deeply personal way.
If you wonder whether the effort is worth it, let me give you a resounding “yes!” You see, all lies lead to death of some kind. Saul’s unrepentant orphan mentality cost him everything. But on the other side of healing there’s freedom and great strength to be found. A strength, like Lincoln’s, that can heal a broken nation. A strength that can equip you to reach far beyond your experience to touch others, like God did for me.
So I encourage you today, if there is a lie that’s hampered you, set aside some time to sit with God. Ask Him for His perspective on who you are and what you can do. Then begin to rebuild your thoughts and life around His word. It will feel strange at first, because faith always does. But as we persevere, we’ll discover the strength to step into all He’s called us to do. And the best thing is we’ll become vessels that release His freedom to others, too.
#freedom #sonship #truth #EveryWriterWriting
